notes-life-life

if you have children, hug them sometimes.

The problems we have with others are usually more about us. (thanks to http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/10/10-simple-truths-smart-people-forget/)

All people possess dimensions of success and dimensions of failure. (thanks to http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/10/10-simple-truths-smart-people-forget/)

Hard work (and taking initiative) is more important than talent (thanks to http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/10/10-simple-truths-smart-people-forget/)

http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/dweck

Individual choices lead to habits -- to change a habit or form a new one, just start making the choices that that habit would cause you to make. And, on the other hand, be wary of making choices that go with bad habits even a few times.

Appreciate little things. This can be practiced/learned.

Don't feel entitled to be aggravated by little things. This could become a habit.

Help others

A change feedback loop

Internal locus of metacontrol

Focus on problems you can change And focus on the future, not on blame If you are very judgemental, hard to love oneself Take responsibility rather than being bitter

Believe in yourself

Be optimistic

It's good to be happy if you fail, but try to be successful

Use prudence

Meditate (i haven't tried it yet but the advice to do so seems almost universal)

When you screw up, keep on trying. Be embarrassed but not too embarrassed

Don't base too much self worth on other people evaluation of you (but it's okay to base some)

Place self-worth on things you can control, not external factors. You can control what you choose and what you attempt but not what results. A person who makes perfect choices can still fail if the external obstacles are too great. Would you be happy with yourself if you were a failure?

Ethics is something under your control.

Love

enjoy nature every once in awhile. for some people, this means going to parks. one thing that i like to do is to read, study, or work outside whenever possible (maybe an average of once a week), even in a courtyard. i particularly like the sky. i can deal with even being a courtyard (although an actual park, surrounded by stuff, is much better) because i like to look at the small details of things. there are still a few birds around, and ants and other tiny critters, and of course grass and bushes and some kinds of flowers.

there certainly is something different between reading about things and doing it yourself

i love the sky and sunsets and wind

useful habits to instill in yourself:

"Mean people suck," "Be brave," "Be steadfast to your friends," "Try to stay calm," and "Keep on trying." -- http://www.davidbrin.com/starwarsarticle1.html

if you're going to get in bed just to rest for a minute, and you're not sleepy and aren't going to fall asleep, then set the alarm for 20 minutes just in case, no matter what.

if you meet with someone and decide something that is important to them or to you, then send them an email afterwards restating the decision, even if you are sure both of you understood, because sometimes you didn't.

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You can be raised with unhealthy habits. It's easy to look at your friends and see some habits they have that you think are destructive but that they think are fine, because you had the good fortune to be raised in a family that avoided those things. Similarly, as you get older, you will probably realize that some habits that your family had and passed on to you are actually unhealthy. This is difficult because they probably do have some positive aspects, and they seem normal to you, and they are probably tied in to other family habits that are by themselves innocuous.

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where is the other life advice list i used to have on this website? hmm i even looked in the old version and i cant find it. mb i am just thinking of http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/01/10/10-simple-truths-smart-people-forget/)

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don't waste your time on powerless committees; eg if you try to change something in an institution, and the Powers That Be encourage you to form a committee to recommend changes without giving your committee any powers, it's likely that the Powers That Be will only adopt a small portion of what you propose, and probably a portion that you consider unimportant. So don't spend too much time working on that committee; in fact, it's best if you don't join at all.

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http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-one-thing-that-should-be-taught-in-school-that-isnt-already

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You should browse this list and be aware that there are many people who hate many things on this list, even if you don't: http://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/how-much-do-you-hate-people

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have a todo list and a calendar, and keep them in places that you will see every day, such as the home screen on your smartphone (for many people, including me, it's not good enough to keep them in a computer file that you have to take action to look at, even if it's easy to do this).

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todo: split some of this and/or some of philosophy opinions or misc pages to a new 'meaning of life' page, in philosophy i guess

todo: add some of mystuff/notes/miscLifeAdvice into here

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You might want to think of things in terms of five basic life areas (family, friends/social, work, education, leisure) (ironically, i got that from a work of fiction: [1])

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"

    Listen to everyone, then disregard it.
    Life's not a race, but there's no speed limit either.
    Positivity. Negative atmospheres are toxic. Remove yourself from them.
    Fallibilism & Open Mindedness. There is only one thing I can be certain of in life: that I am prone to error. — Nothing saddens me more than someone who is unwilling to listen.
    Attention is your only currency. Allocate it sparingly. Don't spend a single moment in life doing something you don't want to do." -- http://www.kennethreitz.org/about/values/

never get in a position where you have all the responsibility to make something happen, but none of the authority to make it happen -- [2]

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don't mistake what you want to happen, for what you predict will happen

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" When in doubt, it's probably not about you.

There are many events that we usually think are related to us, but actually aren't, like your boss or customer being angry is in most cases not about you but something else. " [3]

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http://johnnylists.com/the-ultimate-list-of-50-man-tips/

(minus the dirty ones)

1. Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.

2. Keep a change of clothes at the office.

3. Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.

4. Every hat should serve a purpose.

5. Never take her to the movies on the first date.

6. Learn to wet shave.

7. Nothing looks better than a well-tailored suit.

8. Shave with the grain on the first go-around.

9. Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.

10. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.

11. Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift, and play sports.

12. Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

13. A small amount of your paycheck should go directly to your savings account every month.

14. Call Mom and Dad every week.

15. Never wear a clip-on tie.

16. Give a firm handshake.

17. Compliment her shoes.

18. Never leave a pint unfinished.

19. If you aren’t confident, fake it. It will come around.

20. You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.

21. Be conscious of your body language.

22. The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them. Period.

23. Always stand to shake someone’s hand.

24. Never lend anything you can’t afford to lose.

25. Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves.

(...)

27. Go for women out of your league. You may end up surprised.

28. Manliness is not only being able to take care of yourself, but others as well.

29. Go with the decision that will make for a good story.

30. When you walk, look straight ahead, not at your feet.

31. Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do.

32. Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it.

33. Don’t let the little head do the thinking for the big head.

34. No matter their job or status, everyone deserves your respect.

35. The most important thing you can learn is personal responsibility. Bad things happen; it’s your job to overcome them.

36. The first one to get angry loses.

37. A man does what needs to be done without complaining.

38. Never stop learning.

39. Always go out into public dressed like you’re about to meet the love of your life.

40. Don’t change yourself just to make someone happy.

41. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

42. Luck favors the prepared.

43. Women find confidence sexy as hell.

44. Do whatever you want to do, but be the best at it.

45. No one is on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at work.

(...)

47. First impressions matter.

48. Don’t waste your time on gossip.

49. Under-promise and over-deliver.

50. Own up to your screw-ups.

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Linvega's list (some of the stuff above is also here, but Linvega's list is much more concise):

https://wiki.xxiivv.com/#knowledge

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some points and counterpoints on personal finance and career:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17204909

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It's usually a bad idea to put effort into being cool, since 'trying too hard' is itself uncool (although there are a lucky few who can pull it off -- but most of us are not them). BUT, this doesn't mean that social conventions and other people's opinions should be totally ignored -- you should put effort into trying not to do things which bother/annoy/disgust/offend other people -- that is, don't work on doing things that are cool, but do work on NOT doing things that are uncool.

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